Building relationships and establishing trust are key elements to success in any organization, especially for recent grads. One of the most important relationships to build is the one with your manager.

Often in the haste to get into the task at hand, learn the job and meet the other folks in the workplace we overlook this important career-launching step.

Like any personal partnership, the relationship with your manager is about mutually meeting one another’s needs. And, like any other relationship, it will start out with a rosy glow and become tested as stress, pressure and human nature intervene.

It might also be complicated. Working for someone significantly older, not located with you or from a different culture might be intimidating. That’s even more reason to make relationship building a high priority. A good understanding of each other will help you weather the inevitable, and improve the quality of your work life.

Here are some ideas to get started:

1. Understand what his assets are.

Get a sense for what your boss brings to the table and how you complement one another. Discuss your respective strengths. Know where you have overlap, and allow him to see where you bring strong points that could be helpful to him.

2. Know her goals.

Your job is to make your boss wildly successful. Make it your mission to know her goals and how her performance is measured. Key in on the most important deliverables she needs and expects from you in order to achieve those goals.

3. Clarify how she wants to receive information.

How does she want to get information from you? Does she want to know the bottom line up front, or does she want to check your math? Does she want spreadsheets or slides, in a binder or as an email attachment? Does she want it two weeks before the deadline or the day prior?

Knowing how and when you’ll need to provide information sets expectations up front that will keep you from being (unpleasantly) surprised later.

4. Set up regular meetings.

Figure out how and how often you and your manager will meet. Will communication be face to face, phone, Skype or email? Advocate for a weekly touch base (in person if possible) for getting feedback and making course corrections. You can meet less frequently, and virtually, as you gain more experience.

6. Discuss how you’ll make decisions.

Clarify who makes decisions, and what the process is. What decisions will you make, and in which does your manager need to be involved? What data do you need to provide in advance of those decisions? Is he quick to make decisions or does he analyze excessively before committing? This will help you avoid making any wrong assumptions as you are starting out.

7. Talk about your working styles.

A typology assessment (such as Myers-Briggs) could be helpful in understanding how you each prefer to work.  You may also want to discuss social styles, communication styles and how you’re going to handle conflict. What about stress? Is he an exploder, or does he simmer?

Is he a micro-manager or will he under supervise? Does he work nights and weekends and expect you to as well?

All of this will help you understand your boss’s idiosyncrasies (and vice versa) so you aren’t thrown off course wondering why he acts the way he does. And, you’ll be less likely to take style differences personally.

8. Get to know them as a person.

I’m not advising you to become best buds with your boss. But learning who they are, where they came from and what experiences shaped them can be helpful. It’s through conversations such as these that we build meaningful relationships so that we can communicate openly and work effectively with one another.

If you want to give Twitter a spin, follow me there @leamcleod. And, LIKE our Facebook page by clicking here if that’s how you roll.

As always, thanks for reading, and for sharing what you like with others!

For New Grads and Young Professionals

Wasting our Minds from Paul Krugman at The New York Times about long-term insight on new grad unemployment.

10 Things Your Commencement Speaker Won’t Tell You from The New York Times. Written for grads but, hey, reminders for all of us.

Work is Work: Why Free Internships are Immoral The Atlantic piece on the morality of unpaid internships and the systemic impacts of insisting on them as a work experience.

8 Questions for Young Professionals to ask about Onboarding A piece I wrote for CareerBliss.com.

How to Get Along With Younger Co-workers  A blog I wrote to help the olders find ways to connect more effectively with youngers. You may want to share this with the olders in your workplace.

The Declining Art of Conversation a fascinating look by Dorothy Dalton on the challenge of the interpersonal skill set, and new ways in which employers are assessing new talent.

Our Gen Y Workforce: Time to Stop Stereotyping. Hoo boy, all I’ll say to this one is right on. The mass over-generalization and stereotyping of our youngest generation is over done and needs to stop. Mark Babbitt makes an excellent case for doing so!

5 Things to Do and Not Do For Your New College Grad Do’s and don’ts for parents of new grads. Don’t say we didn’t warn you. From MainStreet.com.

Careers, In General

What you don’t know will hurt you; the top 8 skills professionals need to master by Kathy Carino at Forbes Woman. Her article highlights some good points about the evolving career space. My favorite on the list is “Advocating and Negotiating for Yourself and Your Causes” which I believe is going to be a key differentiator, especially for young talent.

The Importance of Self-Awareness  If you don’t get my newsletter (come on, you know you want to!) you missed my video piece on self-awareness as a critical skill for job search and career. To get my newsy updates go to the little box here and sign up!

‘The new stress’ on the job? It may not be what you think from The Globe and Mail, highlights boredom as the new work stress.

Got Grit? The Secret Sauce to Success. I chose this not just because of the overt correlation to a favorite book growing up, but because it dispels the notion there’s some magical quality you need to be successful! It’s a high-five for ordinary people!

Job Search

4 More Ways to Create an On Line Resume from Lifehack.com
I love the online resume concept, especially for creatives and those working in visual media. Check out the deets on these four new ideas.

Make LinkedIn Help You Find a Job from Susan Adams at Forbes.

Job Hunting Advice from Penelope Trunk  Like Ryan Stephens I also often don’t align with Penelope’s view of the world, but I think the distillation of her article is spot on for job seekers.

 Because it made me feel good….

Best Rest Practices for Optimal Productivity and Creativity  From my new best friends at Psychology Today! They had me at, “If you’re middle-aged and blush because you seem to work more slowly, take heart. You’re likely working at far more effective, complex levels than your younger co-workers.”

If you’re not familiar with the show’s format, four celebrity singer-coaches select the best aspiring singers from a blind audition. The aspiring singers first compete in a sing off against the other artists in the coach’s stable. Finally the best from each coach compete against each other, and viewers vote to award one winner a recording contract.

As I watched an episode last week it struck me how this show holds some good lessons about the workplace that apply to your career.

1. Your boss hires you because she believes you can help her be successful.

On the show, coaches select talent based on their potential to perform well throughout the competition. They are looking for talent who can help them “win the whole thing.”

Your manager hires you because she thinks you have the ability to help to solve her business problems better than any other candidate. She believes you can help her win. So get a sense for what competition she is trying to win and reframe your perspective and performance to help her succeed.

2. The competition doesn’t end when you get the job.

On the show, singers train together with the coach, and then compete against one another to get to the next level. One gets eliminated, one goes on. To make it to the end of the show, you’ve got to compete hard in every round.

Whether it’s getting the promotion or being assigned to a plum project, you are always competing for what comes next in your career. You competed to get the job, but once you have it, you must compete inthe job. Look around and see how you’re positioning yourself to be the talent of choice in the next competition.

3. Mentoring is an essential part of your professional development process.
On the show, coaches groom their artists, giving insight into their performance and sharing techniques for improvement. Guest mentors assist in developing the rookie artist for competition. Both have an encouraging, supportive and personal connection with the artists.

It’s been well-documented that having a strong mentor relationship is one of the keys to success, especially for young professionals. If you don’t have a mentor, find one. Then, build a relationship that helps you leverage the insight, wisdom and encouragement of an experienced guide who can support your career journey.

4. It’s about who you are, as much as it is about what you know.

On a recent show, two competing singers were quite different in personality. One was outgoing, and the other more reserved. The coach commented that the singer’s presence was as much a part of the evaluation as her talent. The audience is buying who you are, he said, as much as they are buying how you sing.

You’ve probably heard of personal branding. That’s the part about who you are. How people perceive you is as essential to your career as what you actually do. Take a look at how your personal brand identifies you. Does it attract the caliber of mentors, colleagues and opportunities that you desire? If not, take a look at what you can do to shore up your professional presence and get the raving fans you deserve.

5. You’re good. Someone else may be just a little bit better.

It’s usually a tough call to eliminate a singer but the coach has to pick the one with the best chance of going all the way.  The coach anguishes over the choice between two strong performers. They give very specific feedback so the eliminated singer understands why they lost and how to improve. Sometimes it’s a very slight, nearly imperceptible edge that wins.

Managers make tough calls about good talent all the time, whether it’s deciding who gets the special assignment, or the salary increases. You’re good; someone else may just have a slight advantage that makes him the more perfect choice for a role. A good manager will help you understand why you fell short. If you don’t win a particular competition, ask for specific feedback that will make you better in the next round.

And of course there’s one BIG difference between your career and The Voice. You don’t have to learn your career lessons on national TV with a couple million people watching!

New here? Thanks for joining! Subscribe to get fresh blogs ==> Here! 

This young professional related to her older co-workers by overtly complimenting them, bringing them food, and discussing the art of crochet. I’d like to think that the more experienced workers among us can do better than that in welcoming a younger person into our midst.

I thought if the only way younger employees could get along with me was by patronizing me, feeding me or (god forbid) crocheting (not that there’s anything wrong with that), I was ready to go rogue and resign my membership in Boomer Nation!

It was a good reminder that any time we work with people who are remarkably different from us, we are challenged to put aside assumptions, open our minds and make a conscious decision to build supportive relationships in spite of our differences.

I am not assuming that all older workers struggle with a young professional in their midst. But if you do, I encourage you to think of this as an opportunity to stretch your leadership muscles. Take the lead to welcome and engage younger workers cordially and professionally. Find ways to build relationships and explore common ground rather than focusing on your differences.

Put yourself in their shoes. Imagine how hard it can be for young person to immerse into a predominantly older workforce, and how conspicuously different they may feel. Ask them what you can do to make their experience less daunting.

Don’t make assumptions about them being bratty, entitled young adults you’ve read about. Frankly I haven’t met many that live up to the hype with which their generation has been smeared. You don’t know their story, what they’ve overcome to be where they are or how nervous they may feel at this stage in their careers.

Encourage them. Remember all the people who helped you in your career? Pay it forward. Ask what you can do to help them get started. Offer support as they get acclimated to the workplace. What do they need to know about the work, the organization, the industry or the people, that you can help with?

Explore their ideas. Instead of shooting down new ideas, engage them in dialogue. They have new eyes and will see things differently. Sure, not everything they offer will make sense for the organization right now. So inquire about their point of view, have a conversation. Be open to what their perspective offers. You might create something together.

Invite them in. If you have workplace traditions or celebrations, personally invite them to participate, even if you send a group email. It’s a way to reach out and include them; to create community together.

Treat them like adults. Avoid addressing them using terms like son, dear, champ, missy, or other diminutive appellations. This is a workplace, after all, not your kid’s little league team.

Avoid sentences that begin with, “When I was your age….” This is a tough one, because you may think the only thing you have in common with a younger person is that at some point you were the same age that they are now. Instead of regaling them with tales of your (possibly misspent) youth, ask about their interests, inquire about how they see their future unfolding, why they studied what they did, and why they wanted to work for your organization. What do they aspire to? Ask what keeps them up at night. You might find some common ground that will surprise you.

Don’t be a Negative Nelly, even if you think everything and everyone in the organization sucks. Young energy and optimism can be contagious. Don’t squash it. Try to catch it.

Don’t treat them like children, compare them to your children or in any way refer to them as being like or behaving like, your children. They are not your children (or grandchildren.) They are professionals, just like you, and the others that you work with. They just have a different level of experience.

Don’t ask them how old they are. It’s none of your business, and, it’s immaterial to getting work done.

Don’t comment on how young they look. See above.

Don’t resent them because of their age. If you feel resentful, examine your motives and see what’s really bothering you. It has nothing to do with them, I assure you.

Save the unsolicited advice. This may come as a shock, but if they didn’t ask you for it, they’re probably not listening anyway.

And yeah, sure, talk about your cats. Crochet if you must. My hope is that these other ideas challenge you to raise the bar a bit. I know you can do it.

If not, fire it! In this 8 part video series we’ll look at some course corrections you can make to get your resume working harder for you!

In this message let’s take a look at essential contact information you need on every resume. Recently I’ve seen some that didn’t include phone numbers, even though they did include email addresses.

Here three points of contact you should have -at minimum- on every resume, and why they’re important. Then be sure to visit the other videos in this series on  our YouTube channel.

1. Phone number

Your resume should always have a phone contact number. Your email isn’t enough. Give a potential employer or recruiter every possible way to contact you possible. Be sure to include area code.

On your voicemail be sure to leave a professional message acknowledging the caller, and indicating a time frame by which you’ll return the call. Do not leave the generic mobile phone service-provided voice mail. It doesn’t confirm to the caller that they’ve reached the person they are looking for.

“Hi, this is Jeremy Smith. I’m not available to take your call right now, but please leave a brief message and a phone number where I can contact you. I’ll return your call as quickly as possible.” 

Note if you are working on cross border job search:

• If your number is a non-US number, be sure to include the specific country code dialing information.
• If you’re in the US working with recruiters outside the country, be sure to include the (+1) country code in front of your US phone number.

2. Email address

Be sure to also include your professional email address. In a previous video we talked about the importance of having a non-academic email address. Using a school-provided email may lead employers to question how they’ll get a hold of you once you leave school. Plus, as you launch your career you want to present your new professional identify with an equally professional email identity.

Get a Gmail, Yahoo, me.com or other ISP address that presents you in a professional light. Use a first name.lastname@provider.com so employers know exactly whom they’re corresponding with.

Once you’ve got it set up, be sure to put a professional signature block that reflects your new young professional identity. Here’s a suggested example for a college student in the job search. Customize for your needs.

Jackson Martin
Oregon Statue University, Class of  2012
Major in Accountancy, with Minor in Finance – 3.5 Core GPA
Voice (+1) 123-345-6789
www.linkedin.com/in/firstnamelastname

3. Your LinkedIn URL

In a previous video we discussed the importance of having a LinkedIn presence.  When you build a LinkedIn profile, you can generate a URL link that allows you to tell people exactly how to find you on LinkedIn. For example, my URL is www.linkedin.com/in/leamcleod . You can see how it’s clear who the profile owner is.

To create your own LinkedIn Profile URL:

• Log in to your account.
• In the upper right hand corner to the left of your name, click the drop down arrow. Select “Settings.”
• Under Helpful Links, click “Edit your public profile.”

• Under Your public profile URL, click “Customize Your Public Profile URL”. Select your URL name and LinkedIn will advise if it’s available. If your intact name is not available, use some version of your first, middle and last name.

Once you’ve got your LinkedIn URL, use that as an additional contact point on your resume. Because LinkedIn allows potential employers to send you messages, it provides another option for them to do so.

If you have your email and phone clearly delineated in your LinkedIn profile as well (use a Google Voice number and forward it to your phone if you don’t want to publish your personal number) you won’t miss any potential connections.

Ok, there’s another suggestion to get that resume working harder for you. Let me know any questions or feedback you may have. Thanks for joining us!

See the rest of our 8 part series on  our YouTube channel.
Part 1:  The objective statement
Part 2:  Key words
Part 3:  Sins of omission
Part 4:  Your professional email identity
Part 5:  Get a LinkedIn profile 

The other day a friend was telling me about a recent grad nicely settled in a lovely duplex in a big east coast city. Her parents were going on about how successfully she had landed a job, and was now fully launched as she ramped up her career. It looked like this gal had it all and was well on her way. Gosh, she made it look easy!

I thought, wow, there are a bunch of 20-somethings out there holding temp jobs, living with parents and going on interviews who would look at her and think, “Why can’t I make that happen? What’s wrong with me?” Can you relate?

If you can, you probably think you’re the only one. But let me assure you, you’re not. We’re all susceptible to crises of self-confidence that can arise for any number of reasons. They can happen at home, at work, in relationships — in all parts of our lives.

Self-confidence is your belief in your ability to do something.

Right now that “something” might be: start your career, perform like a shining star in the job, find “the” relationship, or live independently. When our progress towards these things falters, we can start thinking we’re a failure. Our self-confidence erodes.

The good news is that what you believe about yourself, and your abilities, is wholly within your control. When you’re in a self-confidence slump, you can change that. Just get into action to get back on track.

1. Stop comparing yourself to other people.

There’s a phrase that’s been floating around for a while in this regard: “compare and despair.” That nails it. When you compare yourself to others you tend to focus on the ways in which you are disadvantaged. Then you feel badly about yourself, and give others too much credit.

You can never tell just by looking at someone, what they’ve been through to get where they are, or how tenuously they are holding on to it. This is a bad habit at any time in your life. Learn to overcome it now.

2. Kill your negative thinking.

Someone once said, “There is a tendency in human nature to become precisely like that which you habitually imagine yourself to be.” When you think negative thoughts, your nervous system doesn’t know if the scenarios you dwell upon are real or imagined. So your negative thoughts can create a physical reality. In the same way that you can make yourself sick with your negative thoughts, you can improve your life, and your destiny, by embracing positive thoughts.

Create 10 positive thoughts that target your self–confidence issues. Write them, say them, repeat them and shift your energy away from your self-doubt.

3. Focus on the gifts you have.

Ok so maybe you are not in the job or relationship of your dreams. But you’ve got other good things going for you.

You have a degree; you’ve got skills and abilities that make you unique. You have friends, family, strengths, experiences, health; whatever. Focus on these things.

Make a gratitude list, every day.

4.    Take action.

Do something to inspire and uplift you: a class, a networking meeting or a volunteer gig. Work out, start an art project or organize your workspace. Set some goals for simple, doable things (like making conversation with strangers in the latte line) or try something totally new.

Direct your energy into positive, constructive actions that will give you “small wins” to help change your thinking.

5.    Connect with others.

I used to think it was best to isolate in times of crisis. But I learned that talking it through with others and spending time in the company of people who care for me is one of the greatest antidotes to self-doubt.

Reach out to meet with others who believe in you, who challenge you, who inspire your thinking. Often others see great qualities in us that we cannot. Find an inspiring few and find out what they see in you.

Now, for the rest of the story….
That recent grad with the nice duplex? Her parents purchased the living accommodations for her. They also put her to work three days a week in a business where Dad holds sway.

Things are not always what they appear.

Got things that shake your confidence at work? Share your thoughts in our survey. Click HERE to participate, you could win an hour of coaching!

Have you ever been in a conversation where someone keeps checking their email, looking at their mobile or otherwise scanning the room?  Do you feel like they are really hearing you? Kind of frustrating, isn’t it?

Imagine if you were having a conversation with your boss, asking for a raise or negotiating a new assignment and she was multitasking. Would you feel “heard?” How well could you present your case in that situation? How confident would you be in the response you get?

No one ever listened himself out of a job.  – Calvin Coolidge

Well, I suspect it’s something we all tend to struggle with. We have so many gadgets, devices and “notifications” that seem to scream for our infinite attention every minute of the day. We can actually trick ourselves into believing that they are always more important than a conversation that’s unfolding right in front of us. But the fact is, they’re not.

As you begin your career, one of the most effective practices you can bring to the workplace (or anywhere, really) is the skill of being a good listener. It’s through the action of listening effectively, not just talking, that we collaborate better as a team, push forward toward goals, and build relationships with others.

If you find yourself struggling to be a good listener, here are some tips that can help you. In the process, you’ll add more value and richness, and better outcomes, to your conversations. It’s also a reputation builder that can go a long way as you start your career.

1.    Get present. Push other conversations and activities from your mind and be present to the conversation at hand. Yes, this might be challenging, but necessary for you to be able to really listen. Put yourself in the other guy’s shoes, you’d appreciate the same.

2.    Focus. Put away the mobile, the texting, the notebook and focus on this conversation.

3.    Suspend judgment. The idea is to listen with neutrality, so suspend judgment of any kind. If you aren’t thinking about validating (or refuting) the other person’s comments, you can totally focus on listening.

4.    Avoid facial expressions. I was once taught to listen without making any facial expression, including nodding or smiling. I’m not talking blank stare, glazed over look. I’m talking about a neutral facial expression that says, “I’m listening.” Engaged, but not presumptive. This is the physical manifestation of suspending judgment and it really does help you focus on listening. Try it and see.

5.    Watch your non-verbal messages. Avoid the furrowed brow, crossed arms, and facial expressions that might transmit you have other things you’d rather be doing. Be aware of your posture, and any foot-tapping-like habits that say “I’m more interested in moving on to the next thing, than having this conversation.”

6.    Don’t interrupt. This presumes you knew what someone was going to say. In fact, you don’t.

7.    Ask validating questions. These validate that you are “receiving” correctly, and, ensure you and the speaker are on the same page, once the speaker has completed her thought.

• So what I hear you saying is                                              .  Am I getting that right?
• Can you repeat that? I want to make sure I heard you correctly.

8.    Ask clarifying questions. These questions help clarify something you might not understand after the speaker has completed a thought.

• When you say Plan B what specific Plan B are you referring to?
• What do you mean when you say Plan B?
• Tell me more about that.

9.    Avoid listening bias. What I mean by that, is don’t discount listening to someone because they are a different gender, not as smart, from a different department (or country) or subordinate, to you. They may know something, or have a unique perspective, that you don’t. Every conversation has potential value. If you’re not listening, you’ll miss it.

I challenge you to try these techniques in at least one conversation per day. Then see how that conversation stacks up against the others where you are not focusing quite as much. Then I’d love to hear your thoughts!

What inspires or motivates you to investigate new areas of learning at work?
Click [here] to tell us what makes you reach a bit higher. 

7SHYHUWDG6X6

If not, fire it! In this 8 part video series we’ll look at some course corrections you can make to get your resume working harder for you!

In this message let’s take a look at how you can quickly and easily get up to speed with a LinkedIn profile. I’m always surprised when I meet college students who aren’t on board with LinkedIn yet. It’s essential for creating your professional presence, and preparing for your internship or job search.

No, it’s not as casual and social as Facebook, but don’t be intimidated. In just 5 easy steps you can be up and running, and start connecting.

Just get the basics of your profile input, and you can continue refining and embellishing as you go forward. Here’s the five tips we’ll discuss:

1. Register profile and get your unique URL.

2. Upload a photo.

3. Complete your education and work history.

4. Write your summary paragraph.

5. Start connecting!

Let me know how you fare after you watch these quick and simple tips to get started. And, don’t forget to connect!

If not, fire it! In this 8 part video series we’ll look at some course corrections you can make to get your resume working harder for you!

Part 4: Your email address

I’d love to hear your thoughts, comments, questions.  If you are looking for someone to help you design a good resume, I know a number of experts that would be delighted to help you.

New here? Welcome, and thanks for joining! To get all the blog updates, get your feed by clicking here!

If not, fire it! In this 8 part video series we’ll look at some course corrections you can make to get your resume working harder for you!

Part 3: Sins of Omission

I’d love to hear your thoughts, comments, questions.  If you are looking for someone to help you design a good resume, I know a number of experts that would be delighted to help you.

New here? Welcome, and thanks for joining! To get all the blog updates, get your feed by clicking here!